Changed, Broken but Alive
by literallycrazynerd
Summary: A girl called Brittany Addario has a major past but will anyone ever figure out who she really is. Set after the war. -JNOT A ONE-SHOT ANYMORE-
1. Chapter 1

My name used to be Tris Prior.

I finish my day at work and feel nice and broken. The war ended about three years ago and Tori killed Jeanie before I had time to explain myself or comprehend. They didn't kill me, but they killed the others. Tobias dumped me saying that he didn't know if he could trust me when he very well knew he could.

He started going out with a half-broken Christina instead of a broken Tris. My brother is dead, my mum is dead, my dad is dead and my heart is dead. I keep to myself and no matter how many times Uriah has asked me out not one of those times have I ever said yes. I'm having trouble coping and I understand why now.

Tobias never cared for me, he never actually liked me, no one does. I work at the tattoo parlour everyday and in my spare time I use my permanent marker to fill my skin the way it should be. With the words of things that I am, the mean words that people have called me. All true, all real, all permanent. I've managed to fill me legs and these days I walk around in long flowing black skirts to hide my legs.

'_Stiff, Weak, Selfish, Annoying, Not Pretty, Ugly, Awkward, Child-like Body, Stupid, Adrenaline Junkie, Uninteresting, Creepy, Alien, Anorexic, imperfect, unoriginal..'_

Words like that cover my body and I am starting to feel that they are becoming truer and truer each and every day. I wear long-sleeved turtleneck shirts these days because I need to cover the worst word that covers my chest. It starts next to my birds and this one is a temporary tattoo. '_Broken_" in fancy and curly writing covers my chest and almost reaches my neck.

I don't do much these days because I need to cover the worst word that covers my chest. It starts next to my birds and this one is a temporary tattoo. '_Broken_" in fancy and curly writing covers my chest and almost reaches my neck.

I don't do much these days; I don't talk to many people. I have become very pale and very skinny (even skinnier than before). I generally don't eat anything maybe a piece of bread every few days. I always wear hoodies because I dyed my hair a plastic black but kept the fringe blonde. I have long hair again but I keep it up in a ponytail. I one of my old friends saw me now they would not recognise me.

I pack up my station and as I leave Bruce (the new manager of the tattoo parlour) yells out to me. "Brit? Can you come in early tomorrow?" I nod and walk back to my apartment. My name is now Brittany Addario; this is because I decided that I wanted to start life all over again. About three months after the war ended I walked out of the compound and went to Amity and got most of my hair dyed black. I was lucky enough to on the train ride back be involved in an explosion. I jumped off the train to get to the compound and as I jumped the train behind me exploded. People came running out of the compound and people were screaming and crying for the people that were lost.

I was grateful and decided to restart my life, I got a new name, a new apartment and I changed my look. It was only Tori that knew what I had done to myself. She didn't understand it but I did. Tobias never goes out in public anymore but I do know that he is a leader now and is single once again. Uriah and Christina are married and have a little newborn baby. I don't know what they called it though because I'd prefer not to get caught up in their lives.

I get home, Take my skirt off, and have a shower and crawl into bed and sleep peacefully. Puberty finally kicked in after I changed my life. I got curves and got taller, not much taller but enough to not look the same. I changed my hair and added a 4mm chin on my left ear. No one but Tori knew who I was.

I wake early the next morning and go to breakfast. I bump into somebody that I used to know, in another life on my way there. It's Uriah, and he has some interesting things to say. "If I didn't know any better, you aren't abnegation and never have been. There have only ever been two Abnegation transfers. Four and," He bit his lip as if he was holding back tears. "Anyway, sorry to bother you. What's your name by the way?" I tell him my name is Brittany and he bids me farewell.

I know that he doesn't recognise me and I pray that he never will, I could see the pain it took for him to even think of the old me. I got to breakfast and sat down on my own once again. My story was that I was an Amity transfer because that was where I was when the train wen ka-boom. As I'm sitting down I notice 3 maybe even 4 sets of eyes burning holes in my choice of clothes. They all come from the same table, the same one as Uriah. I pick up the rest of my breakfast and leave the cafeteria and reach my destination, the tattoo parlour. I do my shift for the day and at my lunch break, I decide to get a whole bunch of new clothes. I get only long jeans and normal cut neck ¾ t-shirts, both tight fitting. I then go to the hair salon and get them to re-dye my hair black.

I change my clothes and leave all the rest of the clothes in my dress in my apartment and walk back to the tattoo parlour. I get a visit from a regular, who notices my change in clothes and attempts to hit on me. I finish my shift, go home and fall asleep.

Tobias' POV

Ever since Tris' death, I've always wondered why she left me in this world all alone. I probably didn't help though, I bounced straight back from dumping her and tried my luck with Christina. It didn't last long because we realised that we had different reasons. I just wanted to get Tris off my mind but Chris wanted to settle down and start a family, something that she did with Uriah.

About two years ago she had a beautiful baby girl that she and Uriah named Tris in memory of their best friend, my one true love. Like Uriah, I have started to notice a single dauntless girl that always wears long baggy clothes and covers all her skin and leaves only her face and blonde fringe out. I've never seen her in any other clothes and in actual fact I don't actually know what she looks like.

She's very pretty and Uriah spotted her out to Chris, Zeke and I in the Cafeteria the other day. She seemed to know when we were staring at her; she picked her food up and left. I've seen her before too. She works at the tattoo parlour. She is modest and an all around beautiful girl. She transferred from Amity, as I have been told. She looks about 20 years old. Oh and also Zeke and Shauna got married a couple of months ago; we all have bets on how long it will take before Shauna is in the family way. My bet is that she already is.

Anyway, my life is not very much without Tris and generally I don't go out into the social aspect of Dauntless, unless Chris and Uriah force me to. After the war ended, people were able to choose which faction they wanted to be in. Dauntless didn't loose anyone but some people from other factions rechose and we gained quite a few people. None of them had to go through initiation but they could if they wanted to. Also the faction less got to choose where they wanted to be. This happened about three months after the war ended.

At first when Tris had died I thought that she might have run off and joined the faction less but then I realised my mother would have told mew if that was the case. My mother never really liked Tris and Tris never liked or trusted my mother.

I think of all of this as I drift asleep. My final thought is another tattoo to remember who she was and what she meant to me.

Brittany/Tris POV

My day starts off normal with my new clothes on and I head over to the tattoo parlour to start work. The first client is one of the new initiates getting the ever original Dauntless symbol on their arm.

My next client is somewhat more interesting, '_Tobias_' my mind whispers his name as he walks in and looks at me. He asks for a tattoo and I call out for Bruce because generally that's whom Tobias gets to do his tattoos. Bruce does his tattoo and before long Tobias is leaving and that's when I notice the tattoo that he got on his wrist, a Ferris wheel. I stop my jaw from dropping as Tobias pays and nods good-bye as he walks out the door.

Maybe the Ferris wheel symbolises Christina or his mother. It might not necessarily mean me. I roll my jeans up a bit and using my permanent marker re-write some of the fading words while also adding a strong one, '_Coward_'. On my way home from my shift I get some necessary items; lipstick, eye liner and mascara.

I decide to eat my dinner with the rest of the world and arrive at the cafeteria before anyone else does. I find a table and fill my plate with a hamburger, some fries and a salad. I also grab some water and a slice of cake. Before long the cafeteria is booming and all the new initiates take up a couple of tables. I just sit alone when a voice clouds my thoughts. "Can we sit with you miss?" says an adorable little two year old. I look up to the mum to see Christina. I swallow my pride and say "Sure you can sweetie." She smiles at me and looks at her mum who gestures for her to sit down.

"Is it alright if Daddy, Uncle Four, Uncle Peter, Uncle Zeke and Aunty Shauna sit here too, miss?" The little girl asks as she waves over the other adults in her life. Uncle Peter? I hope that doesn't mean who I think it is. Never mind, it is. "Trissy, are you sure its alright with this lady that we can sit here."

"Trissy?" I say and get looked at by all of the adults. "Yes," Christina says ", that's the middle name of my daughter, I named her after my late best friend. Her name is Marlene Tris Startion" I nod and move over so that others can sit down. Uriah, Chris and Tris take the conversation over and I just eat my food in silence answering questions when asked.

"How rude of me, I'm sorry. My name is Brittany. I transferred from Amity after the war. If you even think of saying an Amity joke, I've already heard it." I say to them. They introduce themselves but I do not need introductions. They ask me if I wanted to sit with them normally and I said that I would love tp. Chris stares at me and says, "You actually have a few similarities to my late friend apart from the earing, hair, boobs and height." Others chuckle but Tobias looks furious.

I blush and Chris then says "Sorry, she was very beautiful but she couldn't see it herself. Unlike this one over here." She jerked her thumb towards Tobias. "He fell head over heels for her and still is in some ways. So tell me about yourself."

I thought I would start to give them some clues because now I thought about it, I did miss them and I wanted to be friends with them again. "Well, I was an initiate three year ago and I started my life in Abnegation and then chose Amity. Then the war happened and after the war I realised that I should have Dauntless the first time." Tobias looked at me nervously, probably because he knew that I could bring up his childhood. Zeke asked if I knew Tris and I said, "Of course I did, she wasn't a pretty girl but yeah I did know her."

Tobias stoop up came around the other side of the other side of the table and grabbed me by the neck in a chock hold and said "Take that back, she was beautiful." Obviously he was not over the grief. I saw the Ferris wheel on his wrist and that gave me strength. I was about to tell him who I actually was and ruin every single part of his life but it was just something I had to do. "I was never pretty." As the final words come out of my mouth Tobias' jaw drops and so do all my former-friends. Only Marlene doesn't know what's happening. As Tobias' grip on my neck falters I run out of the cafeteria and go to my special spot.

I reach the bottom of the pit and sit there for what feels like hours until I have the strength to get up and head back to my apartment to get to sleep. I can't even imagine what all my old friends are thinking at this moment. I just know that I've ruined all of their lives.


	2. Chapter 2

Tobias POV

She's alive, after all of this time. How could I have not noticed? Especially after what Chris said at dinner. I'm not going to let her go again. I do wonder though, why she only wears long clothes. This is something I'll find out tomorrow, I just need to either sleep or wake up from this amazing dream.

Then again, how could she leave me? How could she never tell anyone? What's she going to try now that we know? How long has she been hiding for? Why has she been hiding? All of these questions run through my mind as I walk back to my apartment. I lie down on my bed and hope to wake up from this nightmare. I already decided a long time ago that I would never get back with Tris or Brittany or whatever her name is.

This is the life I have chosen. I fall asleep quickly waiting the next day.

Brittany/Tris POV

I wake up and automatically know what I should have done. Got to know them better and understand if they actually wanted the old me back. Well I can try. I have a special machine and it takes me back to when you did things that were wrong. It's only a prototype but I'm going to try it anyway.

_"Take that back, she was beautiful."_

**_"I never saw her face or what she actually looked like, but she seemed beautiful. She was very brave."_**

After that I left the cafeteria, and back into my own time. 'You've done the right thing' my mind tells me and I automatically agree. I then get dressed and go to the cafeteria. I'll let my friends figure out who I really am on my own.

I reach the cafeteria and when I do Christina waves me over and pat the seat next to her. I move to that seat and as I take a bit of my toast I get a request from Little Marlene. "Brit-tan-eye, can I sit on your lap?" I look at her and nod sweetly.

"Of Course little one. With that I lift her up onto my lap and she thanks me. Christina shoots me a thanking look and continues to eat her food.

The others come over and shoot Christina questioning looks about Marlene being on my lap. Christina just shrugs and Four just says "It was probably Marlene that asked. Uriah, do you remember the time when you asked." he bit his tongue and Uriah just sadly nodded.

Shauna tried to brighten up the conversation, "Four, you should find yourself a new girlfriend, its time to get over Tris. She is never going to come back. I mean, look at Brittany she's nice, pretty, friendly, gets along with all of us and you obviously have some sort of attraction to her. Why don't you just ask her out?"

I blush fiercely and Christina and Uriah laugh at me and then agree with Shauna. I understand their need to say that to Fo-Tobias but I don't understand their need to say it in front of me. Though, I do wish that he did ask me out.

"Why is your name Four?" I ask, not really needing an answer but wanting instead to make light conversation. "Because I have only four fears, now my turn to ask you a question. Why do you always wear long sleeved shirts and long jeans?" Everyone at the table stops eating their food and looks at me.

I stay silent because now is not the place or time to tell them who I really am. "I'm not comfortable answering that question just yet. Try another." I say the last part trying to sound upbeat. "Okay, Why do you always carry a Permanent Marker with you?" I stay silent again because I don't want them to know what I do to my legs and arms with the markers.

"Sorry to be a spoil sport but that's another thing that I'm not comfortable answering. Try one last time." I finish. "Okay, how many fears do you have in your fear landscape? If you've been through it that is." He asks. "I have 6. I'm not going to explain them though because I really only met you guys yesterday and some are quite embarrassing."

I see them all nodding their heads but also very excited because they know someone else with 6 fears. Tobias grabs my hand under the table and I pull away gently, shocked. I stand up all of a sudden and announce that I have to go and hand Marlene blindly to Christina and Uriah.

I make my way to the tattoo parlour and get started on my shift for the day. When it reaches lunchtime I decide to skip lunch and instead I sit cross-legged on one of the waiting chairs and pull the left sleeve on my shirt up enough so you could just see some of the words. I add another word which I already have but want to add again simply because it is so important, _Coward_.

I stop drawing when someone coughs to get my attention. In a split second the lid is back on my pen and my shirtsleeve is back down. It's Tobias. "What's up Four?" I say.

"Oh, not much was just checking out what you were doing. What were you doing with that pen Brit?" he asks me coldly. I shake it off and tell him to clear off so I can finish my work for the day.

I can tell with Tobias that he knows that I have a lot of secrets and that I may not necessarily want to tell them but I think he understands that. It's hard to tell. Sometimes these days I don't even understand myself. It's difficult.

I finish my shift for the day and head back to my apartment and move some stuff around and make my way to the cafeteria. When I get there Zeke and Shauna wave me over to where they are sitting with Tobias. "Hey, what are you up to there hot stuff?" he says to me as I walk up to the table. "Not much Mr No Way." As I say that I get a laugh from Tobias and a chuckle from Shauna.

"I'm sorry to ask this, but what happened to Tris? I just want to know what happened to her because you guys seemed to love her." I ask and they all look at me as if I just told them that I had killed someone.

"Let the love-sick dog answer your question." Zeke says pointing towards Tobias who instantly stops eating and looks as if he is gathering himself to try to work out what he was going to say.

Tobias POV

Anything but answering that question. To make it even worse Zeke said that I should do it. Chris, Uriah and Marlene walk up to the table and they ask what's going on and Shauna comes up with the worst idea of them all. "Tobias here was about to fill in the newbie about what happened to Tris." With this line Christina perked up and says "This will be good for you to purge Tobias, alright start from the important stuff, after the war."

I nod and begin my story.

"Tris was the most perfect girl I knew. During the war her mother and father died to save her and her brother was killed on trial because he was a traitor. She broke in the war and she had to go through ridiculous amounts of pain. She started to not care about life and so she tried to kill herself multiple times. Each time I stopped her, then finally one day I had enough and I dumped her saying that she needed to accept life and not want to die all the time. She took this pretty hard and almost as soon as we were over I moved to Christina and we were together for about 3 months before we realised we had different intentions. Exactly three months after the war had finished. Actually the day that you guys got to choose your new factions, Tris was on a train that then exploded. She died and, I believe I could never love anyone again as much as I love her." Everyone looked at me and stared as if Id said something wrong or weirdly.

Then they all accepted the fact and we finished eating. I kept thinking back to what Shauna had said at breakfast about me liking Brittany. Now I realise that this is utterly true and that I knew almost nothing about her, though there are some things about her that I recognise but I'm not sure where from. Also, she says that she comes from Abnegation but I do not recognise the name at all, neither her first or second. Also her first name is not an Abnegation name. I want to learn more about her and I think that I will get that soon.


	3. Chapter 3

Tris POV

"I was you know wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me? Shauna was right, I need to get over Tris and find someone else." Tobias asks me the next morning.

"Okay, I'll go out with you. Must warn you though, I'm not one for intimacy." I say to him being extremely truthful.

"Awesome, and I'll be careful. Let me know when to stop if I go too far."

It was then that I realised exactly how much I have missed him over the past 3 years. I pulled him close and kiss him fiercely on the lips and I pull away to find him surprised. He looks at me and pulls me close again and kisses me again. He kisses me goodbye and leaves me to finish the morning shift.

I think about him all the time and about how much I hurt him to get what I wanted. I think I know now what I must do. At lunchtime I propose my idea to all my friends and they agree and think that it is a really good idea. I finish up the rest of my shift and at the end of the day I buy myself a nice knee-length, short-sleeved dress with a low cut neck. I also get a long sleeved robe. I put both on and make my way to the fear landscape room.

I set the computer up to do my fear landscape and set my friends in the viewing room. I take a deep breath and plunge the syringe into my neck. I blink and my world evaporates. Only one of them will recognise this Fear Landscape, maybe even all of them.

Tobias POV

Brittany told us today at lunchtime that she wanted to answer all of our questions about her so she decided to take us through her fear landscape. She said to watch closely and she kissed me on the cheek before she went in and soft enough for only me to hear she said "Watch closely." I think there are some secrets about her that are going to scare us and by the way she said that to me makes me seem as if only I will really understand who and what she is.

The simulation starts and she is in a glass box, the water rises in the box and when it reaches her knees she hits the glass and the glass breaks. I've seen this before but I can't remember where, I really want to understand but I can't think of where I've seen it. The next fear is in a field of crows and they are attacking her, she pulls out a gun and shoots them all and the scene changes. This was one of Tris' fears, I wonder who this Brittany actually is. Unnamed people kidnap her and she gets through it by hiding in a closet and getting a gun to shoot them all.

That's 3, she supposedly halfway through now. Next, she gets pushed into the ocean and to get out she has to swim deeper. The simulation brings her back to dry land and a gun forms next to her head and in front of her, 3 people sit begging her to kill them. I recognise them all, one is Tris' mum, the next Tris' dad and finally Caleb. I see the recognition on Shauna, Zeke, Uriah and Chris' face when they see Caleb. To get out of the simulation she shoots herself with the gun instead. I suddenly remember that all of these fears are Tris' fears and this last one is definitely going to show us who she actually is.

She steps into a room, an abnegation room and in the corner there is a big double bed. I can see Christina's face light up when she realises what I've already thought. Suddenly a topless version of me sits on the bed and tells us what we all needed to know. "Trissy-poo, come here I want to try something with you." Everyone looks at me with their jaws dropped realising that Tris was alive and that she had been for years.

"Tobias, I'm sorry but I can't do this with you in a simulation." She says and the simulation finishes instantly. Suddenly she is on the ground crying her heart out and she must sense the fact that we were going to go out and comfort her because of the next thing she did. "Don't come in here, I'm a monster. I hid from you guys for almost 3 years. I pretended to die. I changed myself. I'm broken. Just look at what I've done." She finishes off and pulls off her cloak to reveal the beautiful body that I have missed covered in a knee-length low cut dress. But there is something different.

All my questions about why she never wore short clothes anymore or what she did with that pen were answered. Christina gasps and I can see Uriah silently crying over what she has done to herself. I take in what it is exactly; there are no cuts over her body but permanent marker words written all over her arms and legs. A big temporary tattoo covers her chest and it says 'Broken'. I also see the most recently written word which is on her arm 'Coward', I now remember her being startled and pulling her shirt sleeve down when I saw her at the tattoo parlour.

There is no stopping me now. I burst through the door and in one swift movement I pick her up in my arms and start to cry onto her shoulder. "What have you done?" are the only words I can muster but I am just so happy to have her back. She doesn't understand exactly how much I have missed her. Chris, Uriah and Marlene are the next three to enter the room. Christina looks at Tris and Uriah runs over to her and hugs her tightly as if she was a sister that had gone missing. Christina just stood there with her hand tightly holding onto Marlene's. Zeke and Shauna come rushing in and welcome her with open arms. I actually hear Zeke say, "You've grown up. I now fully recommend you to Four hot stuff."

Shauna gives her the best hug she can manage in her wheel chair and thanks Tris for telling us so soon. She also joked around with her about the intimacy fear in her landscape. All this time, Christina stood there and did not move, she would not let go of her child's hand to meet her old best-friend, she would not greet Tris, she would not anything.

This is something I think that Tris picked up on because she stood up cleared her voice and muttered something to Christina before running out of the room crying back to who knows where.

Christina POV

How can she be here? I don't understand. I've grieved over her for so long and now she's come back and she's going to ruin my life. Zeke, Shauna, Tobias, Uriah and Marlene look at me and all I can say is "What?! She's pretended to be dead for almost 3 years now. What am I supposed to say? OMIGAWSH your back, I want to be biffles again?"

"Yes actually." Four mutters. I'm surprised that they can all forgive her so easily. Uriah comes over to me and picks up Marlene and in my ear whispers "I think you need some time to cool off. Marlene and I are going to stay with Tris and Four tonight and I think you can take the apartment." He says to me. I understand why and with that I leave for my apartment and lie in bed and think about what I should have done.


End file.
